I don't even know how to explain this. I feel as if I have some angry monster inside of me itching to just take control. wanting to scream, yell fuss. basically have a TOTAL melt down. I never understand the concept anger. I hate it so much. When I am in God's presence I feel as if nothing else matters. You may say that is selfish but it really isn't. When you truly love someone or something you will give anything or do anything to make that person happy. This week has been very good, but at the same time there are horrible days of the week. When you just wish you never existed. If you are mad or sad, don't feel like your not sup post to feel those emotions. When you want to cry.. cry. if you want to be angry be angry. (Have self control though) When we have those times where we are sad... BE SAD don't feel bad because you are sad your aloud to feel the emotion you are going through! It may not be the most happiest emotion but if your going through times that are rough your aloud TO FEEL UPSET or feel like crying. It's normal. You can't hold things in. If you do, well that's just not healthy. I learned that these past two weeks. I love to talk about how I feel. One day I just broke out in tears.
From everything that I was going through (and still am) in that time was a moment of growth. I was sad and I was afraid to feel it. A friend once told me "It's okay to break down once in awhile.. it makes you a stronger person"
and it does. I don't even know where to begin with that statement.
It's like God doesn't want us to feel his presence just in time of worship. He wants us to feel him when we get dressed up to go out to dinner with him, when we are at home in our bum clothes, when we are worshiping him. ALL THE TIME he wants us! Even though us as humans can't always understand that God's presence is always there.. it is. When he sees us worshiping when we can't "feel him" in his head he KNOWS for a fact that choose to live for him, we choose to worship him even though we may not "feel" him, and that's love. We go through these steps because God is shaping us and molding us in to his beautiful master piece.
So back to that point about breaking down. If you were always angry all the time.. how could you grow, experience new things, etc.
You couldn't! It's impossible because you are always in that mood. When you have that bit of happiness.. let it shine don't hid it away for no one to see. Make sure that in EVERY circumstance you are in, let your body go through the emotions. The steps you go through in your emotions make you in to the master piece God has called you to be! ( and already is his master piece )
Don't be scared to feel. God wants you too feel, because when you feel you become stronger in who you are, and you become stronger in your REAL, PERSONAL relationship with God.
A
